Depression and other things

Hi everyone!
Today I am gonna talk about something important, something sensitive to me.
This is somewhat a personal note and it took me a lot of courage to speak up about this.
P.S only read if you are undergoing depression and need help. (otherwise it may sound stupid)

I know lot of you go through this, face your problems head on,but people like me just cover them up . I have been doing this for such a long time now that I gotten really good at hiding. Sometimes my own mum can't tell if I am sad or not.

Depression is common today. From what I realized, everybody has something to be sad about. No one is perfectly happy, God didn't make us that way. (if there's God or any other superlative entity)

Most of us just choose to ignore the storm inside us. Do you know what I think? Maybe I could've used some help. Maybe I could've vented my feelings to someone, cried out for help. Now it's too late, but whoever is reading this, it isn't too late for you.

The only decision I regret in my life is not acting at the right time.
If only I gotten these ill feelings out of me when there was still time. If only I'd broken a few things, smashed them to the ground and felt good about it.
If only I had taken this seriously.

Depression is a dark black pit with an endless bottom. When you fall, you keep falling and you don't know when it's gonna stop. PLEASE DON'T IGNORE your sad self. Don't think it'll get better. It'll only get worse!

Time heals, but at a very slow rate. All of this might sound like big fat lecture but this is coming from someone who used to be emotionally damaged and used to search the Internet for ways to end their lives without any pain.

You might think, all this time I've never seen this girl cry? Does that mean she's always happy? No.
Does that mean she's making it up? No.
Does that mean you get to judge the gravity of my situation? Absolutely no.
Does that mean you assume my problems are nothing compared to others? No.

The human mind works in mysterious ways. Especially mine. All I've hated the most in my life are lies. And thanks to my stars I'm a scorpion, so that makes me a human lie detector machine! Seriously I'm not kidding. I can almost always know when a loved one is lying to me.

Keeping these aside, I have been cheated on, played with a number of times. Thinking "people go through these all the time" why am I so special that I need help? You don't need to be special to get help. Talk to someone close. Vent it out. Just don't bottle it up.

Depression is like a layer of dirt on your original personality. It makes you lose your shine. And in time you'll lose yourself completely. You'll be so many inches deep inside the dirt, you can't even recognize yourself. You'll get sad without a reason and get drunk, call your ex to come back to you.

I know you'll be saying "don't let the past creep up to you". Some people have the gift of moving on. I admit I don't. I ponder over my mistakes a thousand times until my head hurts.

Depression can result from anything. Literally anything. From a teacher scolding you to a tough breakup, it can end up making you feel eternal loneliness. It really gets to sad people. It messes with our minds.

In such a long time, this is the longest shot I've taken at "opening up". You know the best part? I feel really good! Try writing a blog, or even a story in your diary if humans aren't your best friends. Try taking to your dog even! (that helps a lot)

Anyways, I hope wherever you are, who ever you are, you are not alone!